http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Quote-StevenWright/ Subscribe to receive a daily Steven Wright Sun, 08 Nov 2009 16:11:09 GMT Quotes-StevenWright http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Quote-StevenWright/message/3621 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Quote-StevenWright/message/3621 I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the Gift Wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know Sat, 07 Nov 2009 16:11:10 GMT Quotes-StevenWright http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Quote-StevenWright/message/3620 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Quote-StevenWright/message/3620 There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators. Steven Wright To unsubscribe, send mail to Fri, 06 Nov 2009 16:11:05 GMT Quotes-StevenWright http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Quote-StevenWright/message/3619 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Quote-StevenWright/message/3619 I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator. Steven Wright To unsubscribe, send mail to Thu, 05 Nov 2009 16:11:36 GMT Quotes-StevenWright http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Quote-StevenWright/message/3618 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Quote-StevenWright/message/3618 I saw a small bottle of cologne and asked if it was for sale. She said, "It's free with purchase." I asked her if anyone bought anything today. Steven Wright Wed, 04 Nov 2009 16:11:02 GMT Quotes-StevenWright http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Quote-StevenWright/message/3617 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Quote-StevenWright/message/3617 I love to go shopping. I love to freak out salespeople. They ask me if they can help me, and I say, "Have you got anything I'd like?" Then they ask me what Tue, 03 Nov 2009 16:16:18 GMT Quotes-StevenWright http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Quote-StevenWright/message/3616 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Quote-StevenWright/message/3616 I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours." He Mon, 02 Nov 2009 16:10:58 GMT Quotes-StevenWright http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Quote-StevenWright/message/3615 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Quote-StevenWright/message/3615 I was in the grocery store. I saw a sign that said "pet supplies". So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said "compact cars". Steven Wright To Sun, 01 Nov 2009 16:11:29 GMT Quotes-StevenWright http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Quote-StevenWright/message/3614 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Quote-StevenWright/message/3614 I went to a 7-11 and asked for a 2x4 and a box of 3x5's. The clerk said, "ten-four." Steven Wright To unsubscribe, send mail to Sat, 31 Oct 2009 16:10:55 GMT Quotes-StevenWright http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Quote-StevenWright/message/3613 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Quote-StevenWright/message/3613 I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" Steven Wright To unsubscribe, Fri, 30 Oct 2009 16:10:52 GMT Quotes-StevenWright http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Quote-StevenWright/message/3612 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Quote-StevenWright/message/3612 I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically. Steven Wright To unsubscribe, send mail to Thu, 29 Oct 2009 16:10:57 GMT Quotes-StevenWright http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Quote-StevenWright/message/3611 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Quote-StevenWright/message/3611 I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape of an Ouija board. You'd think about what kind of food you want, and the Wed, 28 Oct 2009 16:11:03 GMT Quotes-StevenWright http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Quote-StevenWright/message/3610 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Quote-StevenWright/message/3610 I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. Steven Wright To unsubscribe, send mail to Tue, 27 Oct 2009 16:10:51 GMT Quotes-StevenWright http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Quote-StevenWright/message/3609 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Quote-StevenWright/message/3609 I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings... Boy With Pail... Kitten On Fire. Steven Wright To unsubscribe, send mail to Mon, 26 Oct 2009 16:10:49 GMT Quotes-StevenWright http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Quote-StevenWright/message/3608 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Quote-StevenWright/message/3608 I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums. Steven Wright To unsubscribe, send mail to Sun, 25 Oct 2009 16:10:45 GMT Quotes-StevenWright http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Quote-StevenWright/message/3607 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Quote-StevenWright/message/3607 I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking", but I don't have that much time. Steven Wright To unsubscribe, send mail to