http://groups.yahoo.com/group/monday_funnies/ Monday Funnies Tue, 03 Feb 2004 17:40:15 GMT Elderbear http://groups.yahoo.com/group/monday_funnies/message/56 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/monday_funnies/message/56 Three couples--one elderly, one middle-aged and one newlywed--wanted to join a church. The priest said, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You Mon, 24 Mar 2003 19:25:15 GMT Elderbear http://groups.yahoo.com/group/monday_funnies/message/55 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/monday_funnies/message/55 [The "2nd Anniversaryish" note a few weeks ago indicated that I've been putting out Monday Funnies for about two years, for those of you who inquired] "OLD" IS Tue, 18 Mar 2003 04:31:19 GMT Elderbear http://groups.yahoo.com/group/monday_funnies/message/54 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/monday_funnies/message/54 St. Patrick's Day & no Irish jokes ... how'd that happen?!? ==================== Q: What's the difference between George W. Bush and Hitler? A: Hitler was Mon, 10 Mar 2003 19:58:02 GMT Elderbear http://groups.yahoo.com/group/monday_funnies/message/53 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/monday_funnies/message/53 Although born to a Catholic family, Chester had always wanted to be Jewish. As a senior in college, he decided to take the plunge and go through the formal Mon, 03 Mar 2003 20:22:36 GMT john@... http://groups.yahoo.com/group/monday_funnies/message/52 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/monday_funnies/message/52 While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered that Mon, 16 Dec 2002 08:24:47 GMT john@... http://groups.yahoo.com/group/monday_funnies/message/51 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/monday_funnies/message/51 Its tough being a man: If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the Tue, 10 Dec 2002 04:25:12 GMT john@... http://groups.yahoo.com/group/monday_funnies/message/50 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/monday_funnies/message/50 Can you guess the gender of these items? SWISS ARMY KNIFE -- male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time Wed, 04 Dec 2002 01:58:16 GMT Elderbear http://groups.yahoo.com/group/monday_funnies/message/49 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/monday_funnies/message/49 Frank Lingua, president and CEO of Dissembling Associates, is the nation's leading purveyor of buzzwords, catch phrases and cliches for people too busy to Mon, 25 Nov 2002 20:32:00 GMT Elderbear http://groups.yahoo.com/group/monday_funnies/message/48 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/monday_funnies/message/48 A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders. The lawyer turns around and yells, "What the Mon, 18 Nov 2002 20:51:58 GMT Elderbear http://groups.yahoo.com/group/monday_funnies/message/47 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/monday_funnies/message/47 An Auburn student spent a holiday in New Mexico with Native Americans who told him the Legend of the Maidens. The tale went this way: "There are beautiful Mon, 11 Nov 2002 18:53:02 GMT Elderbear http://groups.yahoo.com/group/monday_funnies/message/46 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/monday_funnies/message/46 Pfizer Corp is making the announcement today that VIAGRA will soon be available in liquid form and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable Tue, 05 Nov 2002 20:57:52 GMT Elderbear http://groups.yahoo.com/group/monday_funnies/message/45 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/monday_funnies/message/45 VOTE EARLY, VOTE OFTEN!!!! (Vote Green, the planet you save may be your own ...) ==================== A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon Tue, 29 Oct 2002 06:59:52 GMT Elderbear http://groups.yahoo.com/group/monday_funnies/message/44 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/monday_funnies/message/44 "Personal" ad in local paper: David G. Contact me soon! Bring three rings: Engagement, wedding, and teething. Have news. Debbie. ==================== A nun is Sun, 30 Jun 2002 19:29:48 GMT zaphod_zaubermann http://groups.yahoo.com/group/monday_funnies/message/43 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/monday_funnies/message/43 A woman with a baby came into the doctor's office. She was told to go into a room and wait for the doctor. After arriving, the doctor examined the baby and Mon, 01 Apr 2002 19:24:26 GMT zaphod_zaubermann http://groups.yahoo.com/group/monday_funnies/message/42 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/monday_funnies/message/42 WHO HAVE YOU FOOLED TODAY?!? ... A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a